A thought from a thought

After reading her blog,
i thought through a lot of details in life...
She always talks about meeting the right person at the right time,
Am i the right one?
Did i meet her at the right time?
These things kept me in suspends...

However,
It is true that i want her to be happy,
It is true that i dun want her to be with me for the sake of being with me...

Actually...
I really can't let her go...
But if the day comes,
I think my decision would be letting her go again...

Again~ leaving her for her happiness....

what to do??

I'm worried about every move i make these days...
Worried about losing her once again...
I've a surprise for her...
But i'm worried its like too irritating to see her everyday...
What should i do??

I Hope i have someone to consult,
But the fact that is,
This relationship has not even started,
And i dun want anyone to know about it first until things really happen...

Kinda sian everyday,
Missing her amost everyday~
Hais~
What to do???

somewhere over the rainbow

Somewhere Over The Rainbow~
Blue Birds Fly~

This song really bring back alot of fond memories...
And teaches us alot of things...

Somewhere over the rainbow,
Skys are blue...
(Things in the world ain't always emo and make you live in a world of darkness)

Somewhere over the rainbow,
once in a lalabye..
( Just forget the bad past, cherish the present, for this is the reality)
:)

I'm sure she will agree with me when she sees this:)

LIVE, LIFE, LOVE

Things seemed to be back on track...
Lots of things to do...
2 competitions finally over...
Attachment ending soon...

Life is just like this...
People will cherish their LIFE,
only after they LOST something in their LIFE....
LOSING something is not a big thing,
but the regret they LINGERS on....

I came to understand what mostly people say...
"ONE WILL ONLY APPRECIATE, WHEN IT IS LOST "
I totally agree with it...
HOWEVER...
We never heard of phrases like...
"AFTER IT IS LOST, THERE WOULD ALWAYS BE A CHANCE"
but only,
"ONCE LOST IS LOST "

Interesting topic in LIFE right...

I felt as if today we are having a English lesson...
Lesson all about the alphabet "L"

Now we know in this world, there is so many LINKS...
LIFE LINKS with LOVE...
and LOVE revolves around our LIFE...

So..
I could only say

LIVE your LIFE without LEAVING your LOVE LINGERING...
LOVE with your heart, and never regret....

Xiang tong le:)

I didn't really have the chance to think about anything...
I'm tired And stressed up all day...

I think after everything,
I've decided to wait silently in one corner of your life...
I will not ask for anything..
Just being there for you need help...
Maybe I will be treated as a friend...
But I only know one thing....

GOOD THINGS DON'T COME EASY...

And the fact it that,
I can't believe emo ah Jo can be so...
POSitve!!!!

Studying for test later...stressed up...
How I wish for a SMS encouragement from her:)

wo hao xing Fu oh!!!!:)

I can't even concentrate with my papers today..
You know the feeling???
Having flashes of unrelated stuff flashing across your eyes,
When you're trying hard to concentrate...

Now...
Even when I'm home,
I'm still thinking...

What's wrong with me!!!!
Can't I just act as if it means nth to me???

I'm going crazy!!!
Really crazy!!!!
:(

My life is already like shit,
What more will be taken away from me???
I really hate my life...
Like totally...

I guess it's time for me to change myself..
Being nice, girls don't like...
Fine...
I'll become one bad guy...
One whom only cares for himself...

Never had I wanted a devastating, depressed life like this...

It's no one's fault... Just mine!!!!
I just hope that I dun live in this world...
No need take exams,
No need feel for anything,
No need to care about anything...

I'm tired...
Exhausted...

Needs a hug and a shoulder to lean on...
For I have my weak moments...

How I wish I could just pass away on the day of accident...
Angie...
Thanks for the pass few days...
I'm easily satisfied...
Thus,
SMS was enough for me...
Wish you hapiness...
Wish you lucks!!!
The last SMS was true from my inner self...
I really miss you...
Always...saying bye to you from my life...
Take care!

Its my life...

My heart had shattered like a piece of glass...
Dropped onto a hard ground,
Shattering into many small pieces which can never been sticked back together again,
For there would always be even smaller fragments missing...

In the past,
I could hear my heart pumping....
But i guess...
It had just died out...

Its my life*...
I've just got to live with it...

Whoots Oooo Weee...Cheers to my life..hahhas (as i stop my tears)

I'm just silly thinking that it is some kind of surprise...

I thought i could climb up again...

But i guess i'm just too silly..

It is not possible for me to do it....

Not again...

I'll never be able to do it...

I'm tired,

Exhausted...

Didn't really expected a sms to be so heartbroken and...

I guess living in my own emo world is still the best...

I have now came to realise,

There is no such thing as a wondeful or nice dream or sweet dreams...

Sleepless night....

Helpless....

For i can do nth about it....

I planned to do so many things,

but now...

I just have to throw everything to the back of my mind like what i did in the past...

I'm falling again.....

Into my pit darkness of emo world...

Emotions swept past me...

Can't believe that tears roll down my cheeks as if i wrote an essay...

I couldn't do anything,

but just...

Staring at the ceiling...

Stare....

And....

Stare.......

why can't i just love someone,

For i ask for nth in return...

Nothing....

I'm just a useless stupid dumb guy,

which every girl could get by just walking on the streets....

*Broken heart....

Tears falling with the random gush of wind blowing into the room....

But i only sat on my bed and stare at the post...

The post....

Just enough...

Soooo cute right:)

Went ang mo kio for breakfast,
then went to "bai" my wai po @ Mandai...


After which i Went Pasir Ris mac to study today...
Quite productive,
Cuz i think because the place is not so noisy...:)
Study until like mad....

After that took bus home....
Hate taking bus alone...
Damn sianz....

Can't wait for the exams to be over....
Really hope can get over it soonnnn:)

Happy to be given a chance: )
Hope this would be the turning point in life for me:)

Tanning....:)

Went tanning like finally today....
After like so many days of school work...

But....

The dark clouds covered my lovely sun :(
Hais...
So i went to gym instead,
Training like mad these days for Nafa Test....
Run And Gym Like Siao....
hahahas...

Wanted to start studying when i reached home,
but went to sleep instead...
Serious lack of sleep...:(

I MUST START STUDYING TOMORO...
going changi airport to study...
Hope it will be a fruitful one...:)

WO JING TIAN HAO XIN FU!!!!
(learn from a korean drama)*
hahahhas....

smileZzzzz...

Sent her something today,
The smile on her face made everything worthwhile...
I think this is what's called love bah...
Giving something to the other party,
And not asking anything in return...

The most important thing is that she's happy....:)

Getting on in life...

I had been thinking back these days....
Thinking about the past...
I felt i'm really not a good guy after all,
Or else why do all my ex leave my life...

I really feel lonely at times...
Really lonely...
Emoing had somehow got into my life since the first broke up,
And it is staying there forever....

I tried loving someone again...
And there, i fall hard on the ground again...
I gave in everything i had,
Love? Care? And concern?
I bought what you need without you saying,
I fetch you from school worrying that you will be bored...
Wait for you to lock up the room,
Thinking that you're such a poor thing...

These memories kept me laughing at myself...
And tears seemed to fall as i laugh...

I'm now finally letting go...
Trying hard to care for someone and not asking anything in return...
Maybe this would be better,
For i myself know she doesn't even like me a tiny bit....

All the best for me...
Hope for the best in everything...

Thinking through......

There's a lot in life to be learnt..
People always say part and parcel of life.....
And Life Goes On....
But when things really happen,
No one really cares about these phrases,
As they dun really help...

We face new barriers after the other...
People call them "stepping stones"
Do you really think they are stepping stones???
I think they should be called "slippery stones"...
Because....
They made you fall so hard,
As a wrong move,
Will make you slip off it,
And fall hard on the ground....

I bet everyone has been through the...
roughest...
emotional...
exhausted....
physical.......
painful....

FALLLLLLLL!!!!!!

It all depends on ourselves to climb or stand up...
As this is the only way out...
I will someday stand up a day...
But i'm still trying...
Trying very hard each day to forget....
Forget the past.....

------"Cast the Past"-------------

life.

It seemed as if it is the end of the world,
However...
We have the recover over time, to wipe off this thought.
Have you tried packing your time table full,
Making it so tight that you have no time to think abt other stuff?
Have you you tired entering into the emo world,
Listening to your ipod all the time?

I've tired it all...
I was tired abt everything...
Putting a strong front to prevent others to see how weak i am...
Always smiling as if i dun care...
Sometimes, i just feel that i'm so fake...
SO FAKE!!!

Life is just so boring....

Running away.....

I think i like running away from the fact that she left me these days...
Its very saddening.....
Packing my shedule tight and putting a strong front in front of others,
As if i dun care,
BUT THE FACT IS THAT....
I CARE!!!!!
I've been having sleepless nights,
Terrible days because of lack of sleep...
DAMN EXHAUSTED.....
I think i'm like a loser though...
BORN LOSER...
I should just live in my own emo world...
I think it would be the best...
Just be like what i am in the past...

Back.........

I thought life could be better when she appeared in my life,
I guess i'm wrong...
She pulled me up,
and threw me back hard to the ground...
If you really love a person,
You can change for that person....
Even a selfish person can change for the better....
I guess i will still be more suited to be the emo joel though...
I will never be the same anymore...
NEVER!!!!